Demon Girl Read online

  “Is there anything you would like to talk about?” the doctor asked.

  Okay, here’s my opportunity to just blurt it out, I thought. “I feel like a demon.”

  I couldn’t believe it just came out, and in a way wanted to take it back. Geez, I thought. How am I going to explain this?

  “Many patients with manic depression feel that way, Charlene. It is good to express yourself. Go on…”

  I sighed with relief and continued.

  “Well, I can’t sleep much, but when I do I feel like I black out. When I dream, it feels so real.” I thought I could infer about my previous life as if it was just a dream. I remembered our last visit, when I had also tried to explain things to him. This wasn’t the first time. “She was me, and I was her. It was like we switched bodies or something, but my body now feels ugly, hideous even. I’ve been repulsed by what I’ve been seeing lately—especially at night, when I am alone.”

  “That is a natural feeling to have, Charlene. Now tell me more about this dream,” the doctor said, while jotting down some notes.

  “This girl, who was me…in another life, say.” I hesitated a little, as if the walls were going to crumble down, or Delmara appear right then and there and swoop me away, but nothing happened, so I continued. “I…I mean she…had a son. He was five at the time. It was like I was watching her all her life. I even remember her childhood.” I paused, reminding myself that it was my own life I was talking about. I didn’t want to seem too weird and have the doctor think I was having another manic episode, so I slowed my speech down, took a deep breath and started talking about “my life” again.

  “She was making him something to eat—Drake was his name.” The thought of saying my son’s name out loud gave me the chills. “She was thinking of suicide, as I could hear her thoughts—within this dream of mine, I mean. I noticed her glancing out the window near the lake.”

  I remembered how Traverse City looked the time I actually did look out the window near the lake. It was October, and the leaves were truly magnificent with their rustic and lemon-yellow colors. I couldn’t believe I was just a few miles away from where I originally lived and yet I hadn’t seen them before. I paused for a few moments, looking off to the side again, remembering the day I decided to change my life forever.

  “Charlene?” the doctor called, snapping me back to reality again. “You suffered a traumatic event just little over a year ago. You were lucky to have been found that day.”

  “Huh?” I still had vague memories of the transformation between the time I died and the time I was reborn in the hospital a different person.

  “They found you by the lake November of last year. Don’t you remember? If that man hadn’t found you, you wouldn’t be here today.”

  November? It was October twenty-first. I would know; it was my twenty-second birthday that day I walked out onto the bridge and plunged myself into the waters below. Dear God; that meant I’d been dead for nearly two weeks before I transformed into what I am now, but how could that be?

  My mind flooded with thoughts. Everything was clouded. I saw flashing images of me being under water, floating further and further down. I could feel this blackness sucking me down underneath the sands of the lake, and then the image was gone.

  “Charlene!” the doctor said loudly. “You seem really distracted. I know it’s hard not knowing your life before the accident. Many people that experience amnesia never find out who they really are. In some rare cases, like yours, no family comes along to help the patient. It could be years before someone comes out of the woodwork and claims to know you. It has only been a year; give it time.”

  However, I knew who my family was, that was the whole point, yet I didn’t say anything to the doctor.

  “I gotta go,” I said suddenly, getting up from the chair.

  “Cutting the session short? We still have fifteen minutes.”

  “Umm…yeah. I need to get back to work.” It wasn’t a complete lie as Peggy called earlier, leaving me a message about covering her for an hour. She mentioned something about having to pick up her son. Even though I hadn’t responded yet, my intentions were to go back. “Yeah, Doc, I need to leave.”

  I had to get out of there, and fast. A tidal wave of memories came over me. If I didn’t hold it together, I would crumble quickly, and I couldn’t have that happen. My tears would stream down in a thick, white glue-like texture. I pulled myself together and wished him a good day.

  As I got up and walked into the hall, I noticed part of my file was still sitting in the pocket on the wall. I carefully slipped it inside my coat and left. If my doctor wasn’t going to help me, then I would find the help myself.

  After I exited the building, I got to my car, plopped the file in the back seat and went back to work.

  Chapter Six

  I finished covering for Peggy at around a quarter to three and decided to go straight back to my place.

  I grabbed the file from the back seat of my car, got out and walked to the back of the building. David was outside, by the door, smoking a cigarette. At first he looked at me as if I was a stranger to him, and then at second glance, he seemed to light up.

  “Hey, Charlene,” he said as he walked up to me. “I meant to tell you. I have some old books for you.”

  “Oh, yeah?” I was trying to be nice, but all I wanted to do was bolt inside and read my file.

  “Yeah, I thought you’d be interested since you like to read so much. I mean, I see you on your balcony reading sometimes. I figured…” His voice trailed off.

  “I would like that, thanks, David.”

  “Can I give them to you now?”

  I looked down at the file and thought of all the times I blew him off. I didn’t want to be cruel, so I agreed. “Sure, that would be fine. Let me just run upstairs. I need to put something away.”

  “Okay, I’ll wait for you in the hall then.”

  I went inside and jogged up the steps to my door and unlocked it. I put the file down on the table and noticed my answering machine blinking. Instead of just pressing the button, I decided to head back downstairs to meet David again.

  As he opened the door to his apartment, I stood out in the hallway. I could see how neat he liked it, with stylish furniture. There were all sorts of paintings of the same woman on the walls and pictures. She looked vaguely familiar, like I’d met her before. Assuming it was his wife, I didn’t give it another thought.

  “The books are right over here,” he said through the open doorway.

  He walked over to the box of books and reached down to lift them up. “They’re pretty heavy, so let me carry them up for you.”

  “Umm…okay, but be careful.” I hesitated a little, thinking this would be the first time he’d been in my apartment since he showed it to me a year ago.

  I watched as he carried them up, following him from behind.

  “Here, let me open the door for you,” I said, squeezing by him, yet feeling the insecurity rise again.

  “Wow, you have hardly anything in here, Charlene. Looks like you just moved in,” he said, scanning around the room.

  I kept the place sparse. There was only a couch in the front and a table in the dining room. In my bedroom, I had a mattress on one side of the room and my computer desk on the other. I didn’t own a dresser or T.V. In fact, I hated watching television. All the information I got was from reading the news on the internet or in the paper.

  “Your walls are so bare compared to mine.”

  “Yeah, I saw the paintings in your place. They’re nice. Did you do them yourself?”

  “No, no. I wish. I am not that gifted. Jane did them.”

  “Jane?”

  “My wife.”

  I walked over to the refrigerator and asked, “Would you like something to drink? All I have is water.” My nerves lessened as the conversation continued.

  “That would be fine, I’m not picky.” He took a seat on the couch and looked out the balcony window. “Nice view you
have here. Never really noticed it before.”

  The view was indeed picturesque. It was like living in a tree-house with the tall evergreens and the lake peering through the trees. The scent of pine always mingled in my apartment, even after shutting the doors.

  “Yeah, I love it here. Thanks again for showing it to me.”

  “Jane thought it would be a good investment, and now here I am living in it. I thought to move in after she passed. The house was becoming too much of a chore.”

  I saw it in his eyes, the way he spoke about her. It was as if she was still alive.

  “I can see you miss her deeply.”

  “It’s been ten years, and the pain never really seems to go away.” He continued to gaze out the window as I gave him the bottle of water.

  I must admit, I was intrigued about his life. He was a true gentleman—or so it seemed. I remembered when we first met. I was working at Lucky’s and living in a motel as I’d just got out of the hospital. He came in to meet me to discuss the apartment after I’d called about his ad in the paper. Once I’d seen it, I fell in love with it instantly, plus he was gracious enough to cut me a deal after I told him about my ordeal in the hospital. He said how much it reminded him of his wife and how she suffered, but he didn’t go into detail. I watched his thoughts drift a little and then asked, “How did she die, if you don’t mind me asking?”

  “Cervical cancer. That is why we never had children.”

  “Oh, David, I am so sorry.”

  “It’s okay. She’s no longer suffering, that’s all that matters.”

  I could sense he still felt her presence in some way. Although he didn’t believe in God or that she went to heaven, he believed she was still alive in another form.

  “Oh, wow. Look at the time,” he said, glancing at his watch. “I’d better get going. I am needed at the factory. Even though I hate working as a security officer, it pays the bills.”

  “I hear ya on that one. Thanks again for the books.”

  I felt bad that I was relieved he had to go, but didn’t want to rush him out the door.

  “Sure, glad to see they will be read again.”

  After David left, I started to sift through the books a little. A lot of them were spiritual books and romance novels. From the look of it, Jane was very religious. I thought it ironic, since David didn’t believe. Most if not all were Christian books, yet some were on reincarnation and Buddhism. As I picked up one of them, a note fell out. I will always love you, David, the note read.

  As I continued to sift through some of the books, I reminded myself of my file again. I glanced at the table and noticed the blinking message was still left unheard. I walked over to the kitchen counter and pressed the button on the answering machine.

  “Charlene, it’s Jesse. Just wonderin’ how you are doing. Call me,” his prerecorded voice said.

  I’ll have to give him a call, I thought. Since the incident with Sarah, I didn’t get any more visions, nor did Delmara come and visit me with any more details on what to do, or what not to do. I had some time to myself—to collect my thoughts and go over the file.

  I grabbed the file and took a seat at the dining room table. My nerves were starting to get the better of me, and I felt like I could burst right then and there. What would I find? How come it took nearly two weeks for me to be found? What happened to me during that time? I had so many unanswered questions. I opened the folder and started to read the first page:

  Admission Date: 11/01/2009

  Discharge Date: 11/15/2009

  Discharge Diagnosis: AXIS I: Bipolar disorder mixed with psychosis.

  AXIS II: Status post accident

  AXIS III: Stressors moderate

  PRESENTING SYMPTOMS WHICH LED TO HOSPITALIZATION AS FOLLOWS:

  The patient was brought to the emergency room by a man named Chris. Was in an extremely agitated state and needed P.R.N. Nurse Goodson on staff at the time. The patients states she is not sleeping. The patient states she slept only a couple of hours in the last few weeks and states remembering standing on a bridge and then falling asleep. Apparently she was going through a manic episode. Clearly was told that when you don’t sleep well that is the first indicator that things are not settling down, and she did not follow through with feedback as she was asked to. Says she has had past history of psychiatric treatment. The patient claims she has been on Lamictal and Effexor.

  FAMILY HISTORY:

  Claims to have a son. Family history denied.

  SOCIAL HISTORY:

  Claims was not adhering to the prescribed meds.

  PAST MEDICAL HISTORY: Non contributory except status post accident, premenstrual dysphonic disorder, history of postpartum depression?

  MENTAL STATUS HISTORY:

  The patient was dressed in hospital gown. Mood down. Affect depressed, agitated. Speech pressured, screaming loudly, feeling extremely upset, manic symptomatology noted. At this point patient is going through agitation and mood liability with depression at the same time. Claimed to have seen angels and was pulled down beneath the bottom of the lake. Clearly delusional.

  The doctor did know all this then, I thought, but how in the world would he believe a psychopath, like me? Everything was in my file and plain as day, and no one believed my experience to be true. That date bothered me too. How could I go from October twenty-first to November first unseen and undetected?

  It was getting dark again, and I could feel myself changing. The excruciating pain pierced through my body like several scalpels slicing open my skin. The blue blood was starting to seep through my pores and molding on my body like a cocoon. Like a statue, I couldn’t move.

  As I changed I tried to put the pieces together as to what truly happened to me. How could I have committed suicide, as my body lay washed along the shore ten days later? What happened during the time I was dead, and most importantly, who was Chris?

  With my transformation now complete, I took flight in a search to find more answers.

  Chapter Seven

  I went back to the island where Benjamin was, to see if he knew anything, but he was nowhere in sight. Above the swaying palm trees I flew, swimming inside the moon-lit sky. I could feel the ocean spray in the air. I spotted a flashing light down below, flickering inside a cave.

  I landed on the jagged rock with the crashing waves at my feet. I gripped on quickly with my claws and dug into the rock. I could smell that same familiar smell again; whiskey mingled with the scent of an old fire. Benjamin had to be near.

  The cool breeze drifted through my feathers as I entered inside the cave and walked along the slick, black rocks. Delicate limestone formations hung on the ceiling as if the upper walls had millions of huge, piercing fangs. It was cold and quiet, and only a few drops of water dripped into mirror-like puddles. I could taste the minerals in the air. As I got closer, the light grew, making a halo effect above the pools of water.

  Once I got to an open area, I could see someone had been living there for a while. It had to be Benjamin’s lair. The markings on the walls were of Egyptian-like drawings. People were dancing around a fire with masks on. Their snouts protruded like that of a dog, yet had scales and teeth like some kind of prehistoric animal. Their eyes glowed red, and their bodies dripped in blue.

  Dear God, I thought. These drawings looked just like me. I stepped in closer to take a look to see if I could find some kind of writing or dates, but everything was in symbols and foreign markings I couldn’t make out.

  I scanned the area trying to search for more clues, and that’s when I heard a noise. It felt like someone was breathing down my neck.

  “Benjamin? Are you there?” I called out. My voice echoed, at first loud, then softer until it disappeared. I continued to look around, but no one was there.

  I felt enclosed and started to hyperventilate. I had to get out of there and fast. I was scared Benjamin or something else was watching my every move.

  Once I ran back to the opening, I leaped off the edge and start
ed to fly.

  I had the urge to see Jesse. I knew where he lived as he once mentioned it. I remembered his number and address as if it was my own. He gave me the information, not only so we could communicate, but for emergency purposes, too.

  I could see I was getting close as I noticed the Golden Gate Bridge lit up like a string of pearls. Feeling tired of flying, yet forcing myself through the cold air, I finally got to his place.

  As I circled Jesse’s house, I could see he wasn’t home yet. The neighborhood was dark and quiet, so I decided to land underneath the thickly shadowed trees.

  After waiting there for a few minutes, I saw him pulling up in the driveway. He wasn’t alone. He got out of the car and walked around to the other side to open the door. He was helping Sarah out of the car. She must have just left the hospital as I could clearly see she was still weak.

  “I appreciate this, I really do,” she said to him, taking his hand.

  “Sarah, I just want you to get better.”

  They walked inside the house and turned on the light. Through the window I could see him placing her on the couch.

  What am I doing here? I thought. I shouldn’t be spying on him like this, yet I couldn’t take my eyes off them. I was a little upset he took her in. Here I was supposed to help her and save her from killing herself, but yet she seemed so happy.

  “You mustn’t do this,” a voice stuttered from behind me.

  I turned around and saw a glowing light. “Delmara!”

  “The time will come when you will be needed. The prophecy shows she will attempt her death the eve of your annual.”

  “That’s tomorrow. How will I know?”

  “You will know when the time comes. Come, my child, rest your eyes from this sight. I fear it may disturb you.” She took me under her wing and shielded me.

  Before I could look away, I saw Jesse one last time. He bent over to kiss Sarah before he turned out the light.

  I found myself lying in my bed crying. I missed my old life very much, but most of all I missed Drake. I desperately wanted to see him again, but it was forbidden. His sixth-year birthday had just passed, and I wondered how he was doing. I knew my mother was taking good care of him, but it still hurt. There was this unbearable feeling in the pit of my mind that I couldn’t escape.